Sunday, 30 November 2008

Blog candy

Theres blog candy available at
to celebrate 3000 hits!!
Congratualtions Jude

Using Freebies

These are using the free papers from Cardmaking and Papercraft. I was looking for something 'pink' for my niece who's 6 as shes a pink princess kind of person and these fitted really well.

Saturday, 29 November 2008

More Christmas Cards

Some more cards which were made for a forum competition. The theme was to see how many legs you could get lol

Monday, 24 November 2008

Chrismas Cards

These are some christmas cards I did for challenges on a forum recently. I couldnt show them when I did them as its a competition and the voting hadnt happened and then I forgot to post them.

Thursday, 20 November 2008

First card in ages

Ive been blog hopping for inspiration and went to

This is my attempt at the sketch

Good News

Well yesterday was weigh in day at WW and Im glad to say that after the last few weeks where I put on a total of 2lb I actually lost 1.5lb. I admit Im not sure how but Im glad I did.
Yesterday was a good day, did my supermarket shopping, lugged bags around, helped set up at WW, carried boxes, tables and chairs. Went up and down stairs i dont know how many times and obviously over did things again. Today Im supposed to be going to my parents for tea and then to the embroidery club I go to but Ive had to cancel.
Ah well good excuse to catch up with other peoples blogs lol

Friday, 14 November 2008

End of the week

Well as you probably gathered this has been a week and then some. Anyway hopefully Ive got things a little more organised in my mind and life.
After having a fairly major ME crash at the beginning of this week and basically sharing it with everyone (sorry about that folks) Im now resting a lot and taking care of me.
I had a word at the cattery explaining how I just couldnt cope with 2 afternoons of voluntary work so Im cutting back to just one. Im also trying to just eat healthy rather than strict dieting for a while.
The same with the card making. Im ducking out of some things and concentrating on others but in general trying to get my enthusiasm, energy, inspiration and most of all enjoyment back.
Thank you for reading this if you did.
I dont blame you if you didnt lol

Most of all I would say if you know someone with ME you now know how the world can overwhelm them for some possibly silly reason and see how they crack

Monday, 10 November 2008

Lifes so hard

I met Mum and Dad for lunch and tried to tell them how I was feeling, dissolved into tears in the gym cafe and Im still dripping now. They said Im wrong about what Ive said. That I mustnt stop doing things I enjoy like card making and seeing friends. That the cattery is a voluntary job which costs me money to get there with no re payment. That although Im supposed to be doing 2 hrs I never do and that means Im being taken advantage of. That I shouldnt have done the cats this weekend as it was too much and has just pushed me over the edge and what did I get last night. A phone call not to say thank you but to ask me what the phone messages were. They think Im being treated badly and because of my lack of self esteem Ive taken it for too long. Basically they say that although I enjoy feeling useful and working I must accept Im ill and know when to say enough before I get to where I am now especially as it doesnt seem to be appreciated. If I was working for money because my benefits had been stopped or something then fine I should stop my fun activities to give me chance to cope but for voluntary work I shouldnt. Ive promised to have a word tomorrow at the cattery and see about cutting down to 1 afternoon a week rather than 2. This makes me feel as though Ive failed but I cant cope with feeling like I do today. In some ways I feel just like I did when I first got ill and couldnt cope and spent my life either crying at work or in bed and I dont want to go back there. Im just so confused at the moment. I want my life back and hate feeling as though I cant have it when I got so close

Sunday, 9 November 2008

A Dangerous Thing

Life's been hard work recently. It sometimes feels as though everything is going to over whelm me and that scares me.
In July I started voluntary work at a friends cattery. It had to be voluntary because after checking with the benefits helpline it basically worked out that until I can work more hours I'm a bit stuck. So I'm doing 2hr 2 afternoons a week.
It started great I had loads of energy, went swimming before the cattery, went to WW and was losing weight too. Then I came to the wall.
I got a bug that lingered and now it feels as though Ive been ill and struggling for nearly 2 months. I'm exhausted. I cant sleep, I'm head achy, near to tears (although not sad) and generally feel rough.
I'm really pleased that Ive kept up with the cattery and haven't phoned in sick. In fact there's only been 1 time I had to leave early because I felt so ill.

The thing is keeping that going means that I cant cope with other things. Obviously in my mind the cattery is the most important thing because I want to go back to work and building stamina over time until I can work enough hours to be viable is the only way I can see that happening.
In that respect cutting back on the 'fun' things makes sense.
The problem I have is that I haven't cut back. Ive tried and tried to keep everything going, pushing myself until now when I feel like I'm on the edge of a crash.
Diet wise has been a total disaster recently. OK Ive only put on 1.5lb in 2 weeks which isn't bad in the scheme of things. The problem is the more I concentrate on dieting the worse I get. I count points but find myself not using the points for sensible food but saving them for treats, I did core but again you have a points allowance which meant that faced with 3 points instead of having bread for lunch I saved them for chocolate at night. Of course that meant that I got hungry, shaky, sweaty and light headed mid afternoon and had to eat something sweet like sugar or chocolate and then had way more than 3 points.
So my plan there is to not think about what I eat. I will eat 3 meals a day, if I'm hungry I will have a low GI snack like oat cakes or fruit and if I really want it I will have a bit of chocolate but I wont let myself get to the 'shaky must eat chocolate stage'.

So then we move on to card making.
Its just not been happening recently. I have no inspiration and everything I do make looks awful to me. I want to make cards, I get an idea it just doesn't go together and work. Again thinking about things Ive been promising myself a card making day and then when something happens like I'm too tired and ill to do cards I get frustrated. So I guess the answer is to just do cards when something occurs to me rather than 'because I must'.

Then there's the swimming/gym stuff. Last year I worked my level up to where I could do about 15 minutes on a treadmill walking. Doesn't sound much but for me that's a huge achievement. Recently though I haven't even managed to get myself to the swimming pool. Again thinking about it I realised that I was planning a whole gym trip with so many lengths and stuff like that and then because I haven't had the energy felt frustrated. So again I need to relax and not try to do everything at once.

I wouldn't mind but Ive had ME for nearly 10 years now. I KNOW the answer is pacing myself but every now and then I go completely over the top and want to do everything now, all at once.

That's the real reason for this long and rambling post. By writing it down it kind of imprints it in my mind for a while so I can 'pace' myself better.
I wont do all the housework until I'm a sweaty shaking aching I will hoover and then rest and another day dust etc.
I wont try to get fit in one session I will accept it wont happen
I wont try to lose weight in one week it took me nearly 9 years to gain 6 stone so having lost 1 in a year that gives me time for the other 5
I wont try to use every piece of craft equipment I posses or make all my Christmas cards in one go I will not stress about it I will have fun and if I have to buy cards for people.....tough!

I guess maybe the main thing is that maybe just maybe I wont THINK so much because when I do I start writing essays of where I'm going wrong and how to put myself right. That's when its gets boring and people wont want to look at my blog just in case there's a huge huge post of rambling thoughts to read.

That's where things get dangerous of course. Too much thinking can lose you friends