Friday, 1 January 2010

New year, new start and all that

Well its been a long long time since I was on here. In fact half a year!!
And why was I not here?
Well its like this

My friend Pete was diagnosed with cancer so Ive been trying to support him and his wife Pat. Hes struggling along but hes not at all well and keeps having to have chemo delayed because he wasnt well enough. He should have finished chemo before christmas but still has 2 to go when hes well enough

My friend Margaret was ill and died in October with no will meaning I had to re-home her two cats who are now with loving new people, and also help clear her flat. As she also had no relatives everything goes to the Duchy of Lancaster but we found out that they dont respond to emails and if you phone you get told the person you need is doing jury duty and it seems was doing it from october until december when we sent an (un-acknowledged) email saying reply and tell us what to do or we empty the flat and give the keys to the council and let them deal with it all.

My friend Grace died meaning that Pat lost 2 friends of 30+ years in the space of 4 days whilst coping with her husband being ill.

In between times my 2 cats have been ill in turns. Mogs was ill in the summer and I was told to take her home and consider her quality of life, I did and she bounced back. Amber has had stress cystitis twice in november and december which is a direct reaction to my being stressed. Mogs got ill again as I came home from christmas away and was put to sleep yesterday.

All in all with such a year Ive now been diagnosed with depression as well as binge eating meaning Ive put so much weight on nothing fits and I feel dreadful. Not that its stopping me eating and drinking at the moment. Im also having a big ME flare so Im in pain and cant think, have no energy and thanks to the depression dont really care.

So new year new start. I need to look after me this year. Im scared that if I dont Im going to be very ill. Im going to have to start eating well, get out and about more if this snow and ice ever stop, have time to play and make cards, have time to concentrate on meditation and inspirational reading. Have time for fun.

Of course a main thing is going to be learning to say no and Ive made a start on that. Pat wanted me to go down tonight for a brew and chat but Ive said no Im watching Doctor Who and going to bed early. Speaking of which Id better go and get that kettle on.....