Hmmm paranoid or not?

Its been a busy few weeks. Ive been really involved with the expert patient program and each time I deliver as a tutor I love it more. This time I was so thrilled that when I did the relaxation part I actually sent someone to sleep.....not always a claim to fame but hey lol

On the other side of life my poor bruv had an accident last week in that he fell off a ladder and broke a bone in his back. So scarey for all involved but it seems he's been lucky with no long term damage and 'if he follows instructions' he shouldnt cause any more damage. Thing is following instructions isnt bruvs thing! He's always been the strong one who's in control and never understood how illness or pain can affect your life.

From my side thats been hard as over the years Ive been ill Ive felt Im being got at so many times but for the sake of family havent responded to comments like 'you have the luxury of staying in bed when youre tired' with luxury??? no way Id love to get up and feel ok and work and have my life back etc etc.

Thing is being hury he's so grumpy I feel he's taking it out on me...last night he said he thought I was going mad as he didnt understand my facebook comments....well facebook is my way of keeping up with friends who do know how I feel, get what I feel and have ususally been there and know how much humor is the only way to live.

Now of course Im reaching the point of being scared to put anything online in case its mis interpretated and Im in the wrong yet again.

Trying to take a deep breath and step back because I dont want to cause family trouble but somedays I could happily scream!!!!


That said the expert patient program is over now till Feb so I can play with cards and crafts (and not have to worry about going out to work ((joke)) )

I mean given the choice how many people do you know that would prefer to live on £100 a week and feel they have to explain every purchase or work and know the money you earn is yours and no one can tell you what to spend it on??? I know which I want and thats why Im doing the expert patient as I dont think otherwise anyone will ever employ a sickie but if they know me and what I can do then maybe just maybe I have a future

Moan over and next I promise will be card like, or cat like but Ambercat has done the oooh the heatings on Im off to bed and you can keep yourself warm thanks

PS do I sound mad or kind of 'lucid' thats where the paranioa steps in.....being told I sound like Im losing my mind has made me wonder if I am.....'They're coming to take me away!!'

CD sunday challenge

This weeks challenge was nature and I made this card using Deb's cd Autumn Butterflies and lace (www.debbeescds.co.uk)
After I took a photo and uploaded it I realised it looked familiar and then I looked at the card I did for the last challenge..... I think Im getting stuck in my ways

CD sunday challenge

This weeks challenge at http://cdsundaychallenge.blogspot.com/ was the letter M. I was totally stuck for ages but then I thought of a mouse. So here it is

And even more cards

Mum asked me to make her a couple of 70th birthday cards but as I wasnt sure what she wanted I made these and will let her decide

Some recent cards

Some more cards Ive made over the last couple of days. The animal image ones are all from the Jayne Netley Mayhew cd and the other is just stamped and coloured with pro markers

Just heard about a challenge blog today

Its http://cdsundaychallenge.blogspot.com/ and it has challenges which incorporate things from cd's. Today one card I made is suitable so I decided to join in. Never having done this before so Im hoping I get it right.
This is the card. It was made using a Joanna Sheen cd called the Jayne Netley Mayhew collection

Wow its been so long!!!

So loads have things have happened since april and most of them have been good!!!!

I qualified as an expert patient volunteer tutor and passed my first assesment so one more and Im 'accredited'. Ive done my first course and seen how I (yes I) can make a difference to peoples lives. Im not curing them or anything but by showing people how others have the same problems and how they can all try to over come and cope with problems has been amazing.

I went back to the cattery on friday to help out and was totally amazed at how different I felt. I had confidence in myself and just thought hey if I do it wrong it can be sorted out rather than worrying about what people think of me. In a way thats been the main thing. I never thought I could stand up in front of a group of people without thinking they were judging me and thinking OMG shes fat!!! lol Instead I found I could and didnt even think about what they were seeing because the main issue is that as a person with long term illness Im trying to help others and if Im fat and ugly well those are your thoughts lol

The course has finished now so Im hoping to concentrate on some card making again. I havent made anything for ages apart from one card which was for my Mum as she had a minor op (shown above)

Ive neglected so many things to concentrate on the EPP but Im so pleased with myself and feel confident about the future for the first time in ages. All I need now is a cure for ME and a job with EPP and I'll be happy

hopefully other posts to follow within a day or so rather than the odd month lol