New year, new start and all that

Well its been a long long time since I was on here. In fact half a year!!
And why was I not here?
Well its like this

My friend Pete was diagnosed with cancer so Ive been trying to support him and his wife Pat. Hes struggling along but hes not at all well and keeps having to have chemo delayed because he wasnt well enough. He should have finished chemo before christmas but still has 2 to go when hes well enough

My friend Margaret was ill and died in October with no will meaning I had to re-home her two cats who are now with loving new people, and also help clear her flat. As she also had no relatives everything goes to the Duchy of Lancaster but we found out that they dont respond to emails and if you phone you get told the person you need is doing jury duty and it seems was doing it from october until december when we sent an (un-acknowledged) email saying reply and tell us what to do or we empty the flat and give the keys to the council and let them deal with it all.

My friend Grace died meaning that Pat lost 2 friends of 30+ years in the space of 4 days whilst coping with her husband being ill.

In between times my 2 cats have been ill in turns. Mogs was ill in the summer and I was told to take her home and consider her quality of life, I did and she bounced back. Amber has had stress cystitis twice in november and december which is a direct reaction to my being stressed. Mogs got ill again as I came home from christmas away and was put to sleep yesterday.

All in all with such a year Ive now been diagnosed with depression as well as binge eating meaning Ive put so much weight on nothing fits and I feel dreadful. Not that its stopping me eating and drinking at the moment. Im also having a big ME flare so Im in pain and cant think, have no energy and thanks to the depression dont really care.

So new year new start. I need to look after me this year. Im scared that if I dont Im going to be very ill. Im going to have to start eating well, get out and about more if this snow and ice ever stop, have time to play and make cards, have time to concentrate on meditation and inspirational reading. Have time for fun.

Of course a main thing is going to be learning to say no and Ive made a start on that. Pat wanted me to go down tonight for a brew and chat but Ive said no Im watching Doctor Who and going to bed early. Speaking of which Id better go and get that kettle on.....

Blog Candy again

This time the candy is offered by Jude at Crafts International to celebrate her daughters birthdays. Wonderful goodies on offer and a great blog to read for inspiration

http://crafts-international.blogspot.com/2009/06/birthday-blog-candy.html

Blog Candy

http://www.craftie-charlie.co.uk/blog/

This is a new blog to me but now Ive found it I will definately be back. There is also a shop full of lovely things most of which I want
The blog candy is a choice of goodies from one of 2 ranges from My mind' s eye at Craftie Charlie. All I will say is making a choice is not going to be easy as they are both really lovely.

Card Sketch

This one is using a card sketch from
http://cardsketchaday.blogspot.com/

I like card sketches as they give me ideas but allow me to use things I already have rather than sending me shopping

Challenge Card

I decided to kick start my cards by looking for challenges and found this
http://charismacardz.blogspot.com/ The colour combo challenge #22 is Pink and Brown
so this is my effort

Blog Candy

Well hows this for a good start to my renewed blogging plan. I tootled off to my friend Claire's (http://clairecraft.blogspot.com/) blog to see what was happening and found this .....
http://keepsakesbymelissa.blogspot.com/2009/06/blog-candy-anyone-big-giveaway.html

Talk about the most generous blog candy ever!!! I have to admit I didnt know this blog but having had a look at the cards and ideas on there Im now a follower and will be popping in all the time to see and get inspiration.

Doesnt time fly

Wow no posts since March!!

So a quick update on me. Ive now kind of completed the course. Its more a rest of life thing than 90 days but that's fine. Ive learnt a lot and Ive enjoyed learning. Its quite amazing how your thoughts can affect your emotions and actions. Im not in anyway saying ME is 'in the mind' its not BUT I felt as though I had reached a point where my fears and ideas where possibly holding me back and Im glad to say this course has taught me that in a lot of ways they were.
Since starting the course I have had symptoms of course I have they werent just going to disappear were they? But in most cases Ive been able to work out why Ive got the symptoms and realised that they were not necessarily ME reactions but reactions to what Id been doing. For example not long ago I was exhausted, I couldnt think straight, my legs felt like lead, I hurt all over and was in my previous experience heading for a major ME relapse. Instead I used some of the tools from the course and told myself all my symptoms werent actually the ME they were because I had been really busy. Id walked more than I have for years, Id been up early and to bed late with no rests in between, Id been staying at my brothers and had to climb stairs which normally I dont have to do so everything had a reason. By allowing myself to see the reasons behind the symptoms I didnt panic about a relapse. I allowed myself to rest and the relapse didnt happen. That to me is a huge sign of the course working.

So things are all positive but now I need to get other things in my life back. I desperately need to lose some weight. Its affecting my health now and I dont want to recover from ME only to make myself ill in another way because of my weight.
I want to get back into cardmaking and crafting. I have a scrapbook kit I got for my birthday and havent opened apart from to look at things and feel my mind go blank. I went to the embroiderers guild cream tea yesterday and came out thinking I really should dig out some of those UFO's (unfinished objects) I have and try to get them finished.
I want to get my blog going again but I need to actually make things first to blog about so I will start with reading blogs and looking for inspiration !!